It's been a long while

I haven't posted in a while but Logan is asleep, my sourdough bread is rising and I am watching Tori and Dean, and the maintenance man is fixing my bath tub.


My life has been crazy fantastic and the last 8 months have been awesome. Logan is so big he is crawling and sitting up on his own and will pull himself up on anything that is sturdy enough to hold him up. my little chubs has been crazy growing so quickly. Being a mommy has been such a wonderful blessing and learning experience. I honestly cant wait until the time is right to have another baby and to grow our family. The Time Is NOT Right at the moment I promise.

School, I always thought I would love college and going to school like everyone else, ya no traditional college isn't really for me. I am thinking maybe going to a tech school and do something, just not right now maybe later. I am in love with being a full time mommy and wifey. I wouldn't change my life for anything.

I am hoping to start my own from home business I have made some hooded towels with decorations, on them and I love them and they are fun to do, I plan on selling them for $25 dollars and there are pictures on my FB at some point I will start making and selling other things I am thinking about learning how to customize onsies for babies and just having fun with stuff I enjoy doing.

South Texas, The Rio Grande Valley, South Padre Island, 45 min. from mexico. That is where I am living right now. I wont say I hate it but I also cant say I love it. Our new branch is awesome. I am going to girls camp on june 6-10 so sean gets to spend a week with the bug. I am super excited.

Signing off for now I will start writing more often I hope.

Marriage

Marriage by definition is as follows: the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
a blending or matching of different elements or components;




but by my definition hard work and endurance. No one ever said Loving someone unconditionally would be easy. Heck often I wonder if it is even worth the hard work that each side feels they put in and receive nothing in return (I am not necessarily talking about myself in full, I have talked to other husbands and wives that feel that they give and give and give and get very little in return. It goes both ways) and that is something that is often hard to cope with for some people. Me especially. Keep in mine I am not saying my husband does nothing because it is quite the opposite at times, I feel like I dont do enough for him. But its easy to get caught up in the normal need for people to expect something in return for doing something nice for other people. Sometimes a simple thank you might not feel like enough, when really we need to do things out of love and desire to make the person you are preforming the acts of SERVICE for happy or have a warm feeling of being loved. I realize this went from a needing to open my own eyes to the fact that the gospel lays the foundation for marriage if we follow the teachings and live our lives like we should be. HUH who knew that all it took was sitting down and writing you get an ahha moment. Anyways back to what i was saying. I know that serving people should be easy and we are taught that it is if we do it with a willing heart but how do we make our "hearts willing"

That is what I am currently working on in my own life.

1 month old

My handsome little man is one month on friday the 8th. I cant believe its been a month already. I love him so much. Logan and I are going on vacation with sean to st. Louis I am super excited but nervous at the same time. I have only flown once ever in my life and i was like 10 so I had someone with me at all times, but this time I have to do it alone, with my son. I am anxious about changing planes in houston and taking a taxi (which I have never done either) to the hotel sean is staying in with all of our gear. (ie: pack and play, stroller, and carseat plus my luggage) Not to mention Logans little ears will probably hurt during lift off and arrival. I am thinking i will give him some tylonal before we go on the plane. I will probably just find someone who is going to the same place as me, and just stick with them during the plane change.

I ordered a sling, to use with him on the trip and I am so stinking excited.


it will help with brest feeding and just being comfy when we are out and about.



this weekend sean and I are taking logan to the corn maze out here to take pictures and going on a hay ride. again I am super excited.

Last night logan and I got in the shower with sean just to see how he would react since he didnt like his toes in the pool yesterday, and hasnt liked the baths but he was calm while we were in the shower he was pressed up against me and it was proab

HE'S HERE!!!!

Logan Michaels Bailey

Arrived on Wednesday morning at 5 am. I was induced at 8:30pm on Tuesday night and delivered him 10 hours later. He was 7.52lbs and 19.5in long. He is a beautiful baby boy, and I am not just saying that because I am his mom.

Logan came home on Thursday night and we have been trying to adjust since then. Sean's mom came out for a week to help us she leaves Thursday at a really early hour. I am not sure how well I will handle being alone with baby I am worried about a number of things. My anxiety levels are through the roof and nights are more difficult than i lead myself to believe they would be. Last night no one got any sleep because I made the mistake of having a caffinated beverage for dinner, and I think he is a little colicy so he is always uncomfortable. Poor little man.

5 days old and still growing

Waiting Games Begin

AHHH waiting,there are a number of better things to do then waiting. It's like Christmas eve waiting for manta to come, your so anxious you cant sleep or when you finally do fall asleep you toss and turn and wake up even more tired but you don't care because you know Santa came in the night and left you things to entertain yourself all day regardless how tired you might be. Only with a baby you cant go to bed one night expecting to wake up and have the baby in the morning. If that was the case I would have had the baby on Tuesday or Wednesday morning. Nope still waiting for my little bundle of joy to get here.

Sean got a job offer. We are moving to Harlingen, TX in about a month or so. Yes it's a blessing but at the same time we would both like to get move closer to home, and we know that our families would like us to be closer to them since there is going to be a brand new addition to the family. We are excited about all the adventures we are about to embark on. between baby and moving and starting all over again in a new city a new ward and new starts.

We are ready for a new start and our amazing family to get started.

20 YEARS YOUNG

Yesterday was my 20th Birthday, Wow how time flies, and I am sure my mom is thinking the same thing. My youngest sister is 10 and in the 5th grade, and my middle sister is 14 and a freshman, and me well, I am 20 and going to be a mom myself in the next month or so.

I always wanted to get married and have a family and live a fairy tale, that started with ONCE UPON A TIME... and ended with HAPPILY EVER AFTER...
hey who knew that between the ONCE UPON A TIME and HAPPILY EVER AFTER was hard work and trials. It's taken a lot of give and take and compromise, to work through them and I have discovered that now that I am trying to do the things to get my family on the right path again and to do whats right for me and our future, the adversary is trying so much harder to stand in my way. Starting out small with things like doubt, fear, and mistrust, all of which lead to bigger problems. Questioning things, like my marriage, and why I am stuck in the situation at hand. Why didn't I go back to school? Why did I get pregnant? Why did I get married? I could be out at college with all my friends from high school... When questions and thoughts like that pop into my head I know its time to turn my thoughts off and do something productive and getting my mind on some thing else.

One day while I was cleaning out our office which is now storage/makeshift baby room. I was going through old journals and realized a couple things. 1) had I not gotten married to such a wonderful man when I did my life would have completely fallen apart and who knows where I would have ended up. 2) My mom is my role model, she showed me how to over come many things in my life by holding strong in the lord and setting an example for me and my sisters as we were growing up. I ran across a letter she had written me while I was at girls camp I don't know which year it was but I remember the circumstances under which she wrote the words of comfort and a swift kick in the butt which I needed at the time. Even when I messed up royally she still loved me and had faith in me and was able to tell me the things that I needed to hear to get me to open my eyes and realize what needed to be done. Of course I messed up many times after that but the one thing that I always had was my mom there with a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear and a few words of advice even if it wasn't what I wanted to necessarily hear at the time.

Now even at 20 years old I still need my mommy almost every day weather it be for a question about my pregnancy and a worry that I have at the moment, or just someone to talk to on a bad day. She is still my shoulder and my ear.

I am in the process of going through all of the CLUTTER in my house, finding picutres and letters and silly notes I had written to sean and everytime I find something that makes me pause for a moment, it's like the world shuts down and I remember why him. What about him made me fall in love with him and kept me interested in him even though he was 10 years my senior.
We were talking the other night and I mentioned a big reason that I was so intrigued by him. I have been BOY CRAZY all my life and the funny thing is my in-laws know this first hand, but anyways, to me holding hands a kissing was a normal part of having a boyfriend. Well with Sean there was no holding hands for at least the first few weeks so it was so much more special when it actually did happen. I was suprised with myself I usually am not shy when it comes to kissing boys or showing them I like them. Kissing was something that wasn't casual with Sean. Our first kiss was breath taking (literally) the feelings that I got weren't the normal feelings that I would get when just kissing boys this kiss felt like I had never been kissed before and the world around me just stopped and I never wanted that moment to end. cheesy yes I know but to me that was the most romantic thing that had ever been done for me. I love to think back at those little things that I had over looked once upon a time and really enjoyed experiencing them with him, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

Today I have a greater appreciation for the gospel in my life, my family, and the trials that come our way...


Okay Time to get back to cleaning my house :)

<3 bailey family of (almost) 3

28 weeks and counting...

Irrational or Rational? that's on my mind today. going into my 3rd trimester I am so freaked out that I wont know when my water breaks or I wont know when I need to call my Dr. or anything like that. I think that my worrying about things like that makes me feel icky because I am stressing out about the small things. I guess I would just like some insight from moms that have been where I am to help calm my fears.

The fourth of July was fun, we got together with some good friends on saturday night and watched the firework display that the city puts on. It was so amazing. On sunday, we had some friends over for dinner and listened to the fireworks from our house, the mosquitos were too bad to sit outside. after the hurricane they came out and have swormed the valley.

On the job front, still nothing yet. there might be a job in the works for the fall, that is if the law firm decides to hire in the fall. If not I am not quite sure what we will do. There are some ideas up in the air but as of yet we haven't decided on anything for sure.

If the job down here decides to hire in the fall I am going to go back to school for sign language interpreting, and the good news is that now that I have Texas residency its affordable even without financial aid. but they do provide daycare assistance. I don't like the idea of putting Jaden in daycare so young but I do need to get my degree and if I do it now it might be easier on him. but then again breast feeding is off the list.


That's my story and I'm stickin' to it